le reason

10_letters claim: Sanada Genichirou - #6 Safety

2008-07-02T10:57:15Z

やった!　できた！よかったね！　Finally finished a glaring war with Sanada, so here willowscry love, hope this makes up for the crap you'll have to go through today. I'm sorry I took so long D; It was an epic battle but I survived and hope it's good enough for you!

Title: Comfort zone
Rating: PG - 13 for BL
Fandom: Prince of Tennis
Character: Sanada Genichirou
Author's Notes: SAP. Implied relationships. Mentions of Data pair.

Renji,

I don't like to take back my words but this time I'll make an exception. You can be like Niou. In fact you and Seiichi definitely have the potential. I've seen what you two can do together and I think it could give D1 a run for their money. As long as I'm not your target, that is.

I know that you've suppressed that part of yourself for so long. That part of you had been locked and hidden away from the light. So much so that I might have taken it for granted. You said it yourself, it's a mask, a safe haven, a comfort zone. The Master had taken over you.

You've always portrayed the look of peace and rationality that I've almost forgotten that you, like anyone of us, can feel the crashing waves and torrential flood. But you're not the tree, even if your surname says otherwise. I won't let you. Because that's my job. And I intend to fulfill it.

The last time I saw the playful streak in you was when you spoke about an old friend. I know who he is and you must wonder why I didn't probe. I didn't want to hear it because deep down I already knew. That part of you will always stay with him. It's a past I cannot penetrate, a part of you I will never be able to call mine. But I'm not greedy, this will do. You're here. Now. That is all there is to it.

I got your back and you've got my hand. I won't lose you. You won't let me, would you? I won't forgive you if you do.

Genichirou.

List

2008-07-01T11:29:00Z

MUST DO THIS WEEK ~~before~~ argentum_luna ~~arrives to be the first squatter!~~

Battle the war zone aka your room CHECK I even have a stocked fridge and clean sleeping things for you squatters ;D Love me do!

Attempt to sort out the monster aka your closet UH-OH! -sigh- I hate doing laundry or folding clothes or ironing. But I like lying on clean clothes.

Butcher the Chinese language aka write a letter home CHECK Be proud, I hand-wrote a full A4 page and burnt CDs for my family ;D

Find your way out of the maze ALONE aka go to the mall and do necessity shopping by yourself CHECK My bank balance is depressing.

Make sense of the English language aka edit fic for elanielyn CHECK Done! Thanks medieval128 for sitting it through with me ;D

Glaring war aka finish Sanafail letter for willowscry UH-OH! Mizu love, it's coming. Sanada is just being a pain in the ass. As usual D; /EDIT - IT IS DONE. WAHAHAHAHAHAHA -throws confetti- ;DDDDDD

INTENSIVE glaring war aka rewrite Tango pair for nerdygridbug UH-OH! Tazi, you've no idea how excited I am but read above for reason.

Pretend to be intellectual aka read some fiction (have too many new books to read) UH-OH! I have at least 5 bestsellers and it's collecting dust.

Socialize more aka WHO WANTS TO HANG OUT WITH CHRISTINE? Not just online please. I do have a life beyond LJ yanno? REALLY ;DDD

Seriously.

2008-06-24T11:46:19Z

Remember they always tell you to have enough rest before you go for an exam or you might end up brain dead or collapse on the way? No worries none of that happened to yours truly. But because I'm awesome like that, something else even more INCREDULOUS happened.

Would you believe if I told you I sat for the WRONG exam?

Dear sir,

I just returned from the INSTXXXX/ECONXXXX exam at Webster building only to realise that I have sat for the WRONG paper.

I answered the questions for ECONXXXX instead of INSTXXXX and I'm enrolled in INSTXXXX and not ECONXXXX. However I've always been using the course code of ECONXXXX for all academic matters.

I'm not sure if the questions are different and how it would affect my grades but I hope it's not too grave or too late to make a difference.

I'm very sorry for the silly mistake and hope you will be able to advise me accordingly. My apologies for the inconvenience and many thanks in advance. Hope to hear from you soon.

With all my deepest regrets,
Christine

P.S. I REALLY don't want to sit for the supplementary paper D; but if I must please inform me ASAP.
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Hi Christine,

Don't worry, they are the same course. exam etc. only the course numbering is different.

Regards
Peter.
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SERIOUSLY? OH.MY.GOD! I think I just sat in front of my laptop dazed for half a minute and thanking all the lucky stars that Stef woke me up from my fitful slumber and that my stomach is still making funny noises and everything I eat taste weird. But all that aside, my Professor has NO IDEA how delirious I am now. I'm barely coherent and I need to stop grinning like a total spaz. But come on! Who sits for the wrong exam?????? I knew there was something wrong when ALL my classmates were walking into the different exam hall but in my dream-like state I walked into the one next door and even after they repeatedly asked if anyone was in the wrong class, I just sat there twiddling my thumbs and waiting for the paper to begin. Okay in my defence, I'll like to say that the courses are named the same and there were people from the same lecture group as me in the room (but apparently they were enrolled in economics and not international studies) so yeah... D;

Yes. Laugh. Go ahead. I NEVER thought this day would come but yes Christine is an idiot. I'm brilliant like this. My goodness. Thank God. I'm blessed. Really. Very blessed. I don't know what the heck I would have done if they told me it's different and that I failed on the account that I didn't go for the right exam. But now I'm relieved beyond belief & thanking God repeatedly. Lord, thanks doesn't seem enough.

On a side positive note, I got back my Popular Culture paper and I passed both. One with a high pass and the other Distinction though the percentages should have been swapped so I get a higher average grade but at this rate, I'm just hopelessly thankful for every pass I get ;D

Dear God.

2008-06-24T03:09:23Z

I'm scared out of my mind. 40 minutes to impending doom. 2 hours, 3 essays. Economic development. Common sense, logic and rationality, all that I'm not built with. Nothing is going in anymore. My hands are shaking. It's that bad. I can't remember anything. This is my first exam in a while [yes because all my other classes are based on essays and presentations so I've forgotten what is it like to take an exam]. I haven't decently slept in about 30 odd hours, everything tastes bland and my stomach keeps making weird noises. I think I've got a zit attack. My head throbs, my eye twitches D;

Dear God, I'm lost for words. I'm just going to leave it in your hands. Take it all away. Amen.

TL;DR

2008-06-20T16:29:31Z

With all of modernity, society should have reached some sort of near-egalitarian stage. But for all the technological progress and so-called upward movement of our world, it remains horribly imbalanced and concentrated in pockets of the world where majority do not live. Just look at the way money flows. We give to the abundant and take from the poor. We exclude the majority and pretend we are the majority.

What is this? Human beings are inherently evil and selfish, that we are. We can't change the world if we cannot even change ourselves. It starts small and it starts from us, from the beginning. If we get it right from the start, it can be good.

TL;DR
I used to think I'm a hard-line realist but a greek old man proved me wrong. I do not want to believe in realism, I hope for liberalism but the world conditioned me to align with realism so that disappointments don't hurt so much. Plus there is a sick satisfaction from saying "I told you"

Thucydides was a realist at heart. He predicted harsh realities of the world as early as the 5th century. His most famous line has to be:

"The strong do what they can and the weak suffer what they must."

Is that reality? As much as I'll like to sugarcoat it for the weak minded but capitalism is a bitch to serve. It's like sandbox battles all over again. If you're not with us, you're against us, there's no sitting on the fence. If you're with the majority, you reap the benefits, if not sorry die far away.

Economic growth is not synomous with economic development. I used to think it was the same thing. Growth is basically our national income while development is about empowerment of the masses and greater freedom for EVERYONE, regardless. However it is interesting to note that economic growth and development cannot be generated in a disconnected manner. Because it is embedded in society, it is linked. It has been shown that where growth has stagnated or declined, social and welfare dimensions have deteriorated. It makes sense. But herein lies the problem, growth often clashes with development and in turn creates chronic poverty which defeats the purpose altogether.

Some say the State is essential in fostering growth which in turn induces development but is relying on State the solution? Sure we need the State, it is impossible to create markets without the State. Markets are after all political constructs. Because all of us are different, and in such complex activities like economic transactions, we need a set of socially accepted regulations that act as a standard for a multicultural society.

Think of it this way: How can a game be played smoothly if we don't have rules to govern both sides? We all want to win, that's for sure and some of us are willing to play dirty just to win. What defines dirty? Where are the lines drawn? How do you even decide who wins?

We need the State to stabilize external shocks, to build basic infrastructure, to create institutions, to ensure fair distributional and all that jazz. But is the State able to do all that? Is the institution strong enough to handle all these complexities and not fall into wayward hands of vested interests and international pressure? Our government and every organization in the market is built on human agents and our motivations are multi-faceted and diverge more often than converging. So the bottom line goes back to my first doubt, which I believe underlines everything.

How can we change the world, when we can't even change ourselves?

Which brings me to the quality of our human resource. Human capital affects the quality of our labour markets. It affects the participation in economic and political sectors. Education is not simply just about learning skills and gaining knowledge, education is a socializing process. You learn about social norms through interaction. Awareness of differences and understanding is learnt so that social cohesion can reduce transaction costs. And the State is key to this. Basic education is not something of profit and markets cannot and will not provide.

We need a political leadership committed to development, to draw on the ever-increasing stock of technologies to catch up with the rest of the world, not only economically but socially. Our capitalist tendency of accumulation will be the death of us sooner than later. Though it cannot be denied that this inequality does have some good economic sense. I mean, we fuel the rich, the rich are the ones who are more likely to reinvest their money into the system in hopes of doubling/tripling/Nth-ing their current assets because no we can never have enough money (What am I saying? Of course the world needs more Paris Hiltons) and with this money, growth and development can happen. But we assume that income will rise (but assuming makes an ass out of you and me but no economists love to assume) or that the benefits from the growth would be redistributed fairly across the board. But in reality that doesn't really happen ne? We would love a utopia, really.

I don't know why I care, it's not as if anyone from the 3rd world or WTO/IMF/UN would read this or that it would make an ounce of a difference. And I'm tired of writing now, so I shall just ignore this for one more day, afterall the problems will always be there ahn? Depressing topic D; Will be talking about such difficult things for awhile, avoid my LJ kthxbye.

Rewind or Fast Forward please.

2008-06-14T03:34:15Z

I am sick. And very tired. Of:
- Studying
- Dealing with people
- Being surprised unpleasantly
- Not having enough sleep
- Not having decent meals
- Being cold
- Studying
- Being afraid that I might flunk my finals
- Being alone
- Studying
- Realising that some people are not who they seem to be
- Being constantly tired
- Falling sick
- Studying
- Using my brains at all, bcos I'm obviously made of awesome fail, note the oxymoron, fails even more. Fuck.
That is all~

Blue eyes blue

2008-06-10T06:34:48Z

For g3ssh0ku & pinksnow1986 just because 8D & everyone who's been bearing with me. I'm still VERY busy D;

Title: The Lion & the Tin Man
Character/s: Atobe Keigo & Saeki Kojirou
Rating: PG
Summary: On the yellow brick road, they lost the ruby slippers. Nobody's going home at this rate D;

A/N: Be nice, I've NEVER written Saeki before. Ok now lemme go burn my textbooks again.

"I know what I'm doing, just leave me be." His lack lustre tone, like the dull silver of the other's hair, seemed to weaken with every word.

And as if on cue, they both sigh heavily, not of exasperation but of lethargy. They've had this conversation for the thousandth time and each time, the conclusion was the same. "For crying out loud, just... Let. Me. Help."

"For the Nth time, Ore-sama will ask you to desist." Their gazes cross, blue on brighter blue, neither willing to relent in this silent battle of wills. Each time they fought, there was never a clear winner and they had given up trying to decide. In the game of love and friendship, there were only losers. They had lost count anyway.

After a long pause, (it had become common between them especially now that both had run out of excuses and reasons) he tried another tact. "No man is an island."

And the response was instantaneous, as though he had expected it, "Ore-sama is the ocean surrounding the island." The other positively groaned.

Squashing the urge to use Atobe’s smug face as dart practice (that beauty mark always tempted him), he continued, "You're missing the point Ke-iii-chan."

At that vile nickname, the brunette glared. "You're wrong, Tin-man."

Terms of endearment, he called it. "You know I'm right, Lion."

He was the Tin-man and Atobe was the Lion, both on the yellow brick road searching for a missing part of themselves. It took many wrong turns, roundabouts, getting lost, bitching and making up but they found it. It wasn't a heart to love or courage to roar, it was in each other that they found companionship, albeit a weird twisted one.

"Maybe for a commoner like you, yes. But not Ore-sama," he drawled lazily, lips twitching in amusement. "The Tin-man sought a heart to love, Ore-sama does not need such useless emotions." He spat out the last two words with a passion.

The other narrowed his steely gaze; displeased at the way the conversation was going. Pressing his lips into a thin line, he retorted, "Denial won't get you very far O Wise King of the Jungle, you who lack the balls to take the throne."

At the mention of his ‘throne’, Atobe became serious, "I can do this myself."

"Oh no you can't, you're lost in the Land of Oz."

"And you're not?"

“At least I'm not alone.”

“If I had been alone, I would have found the Wizard of Oz already.”

“Oh please the last time we went out to sea, you couldn’t tell North from South!”

“That,” Atobe paused, eyes flashing. “Was an isolated incident,” he bit every word off in an attempt to retrieve some lost grace. “At least Ore-sama did not fall off a horse.”

Saeki ignored the brunette’s quip, he had gotten used to Atobe grumbling about his poor riding skills. He believed it was pointless to fight the truth, unlike the brunette who fought everything, even his good intentions. “Your pride will be the death of you Keigo.”

No matter how many times the silver haired man used his given name, every time Atobe felt a delicious tingle all over, not that he would ever admit it. He could hear it in the other’s voice. Warm and fuzzy, that was Saeki’s concern and he hated it.

“Save your pity for yourself, Ore-sama does not need it.”

A mirthless laugh escaped Saeki’s lips at the declaration. “Don’t insult me.”

It was then that their mutual disdain became tangible and their opposing personalities clashed wordlessly. All was still. “Don’t make it look as if you understand.”

Oh that was the last straw, Saeki mused as he stood, stretching to his full height. In a few quick strides, he closed their distance. “Make me understand.”

“Why should I?”

“Because I’m sick of being pushed out of your life and watch you sway like a decapitated tree in a thunderstorm.” The words came out in a rush but he meant every word of it.

“Ore-sama does not care,” Atobe’s defence mechanism kicked in as he folded his arms.

“You don’t even believe what you’re saying, how do you expect me to?” Saeki's frustration was apparent.

“I’m not asking anything of you.” The word ‘anything’ came out like venom burning through his lips.

Inhaling sharply, Saeki whispered. “You don’t mean that.” His tone was smooth and even, without a hint of malice.

He had been raring to go, all riled up to match Saeki word for word but upon seeing the gentleness in slate blue eyes, Atobe felt the pent up energies in him dissipate. The other always knew how to throw him off. “I'm just minding my own business here.”

“It’s become my business now,” Saeki enunciated clearly, keeping a respectable distance between them. “You think you're not hurting others like this?”

Honestly? Atobe believed he wasn’t doing anyone harm by keeping to himself. What you don’t know can’t hurt you right? Or so he thought. “Just leave me alone.”

“You know your every word is a blatant cry for attention, why can't you admit it?”

“Oh?” Atobe raised a finely curved eyebrow. “You think you know me.”

Saeki wasn’t the least bit threatened by the vehement tone, he had gotten used to Atobe’s fangless anger. “I know a lost case when I see one.”

“Fuck you.”

Oh that was new. Saeki hadn’t expected coarse language. Even in anger, Atobe was graceful. Not this time. Mimicking the other’s smirk, Saeki drawled, “Eloquent ahn?”

“Go away.” But Saeki didn’t, instead he took another step closer. He could feel Atobe bristle but he ignored it. In their proximity, he noticed flecks of green in Atobe's cat-like eyes. His eyes were like the depths of the ocean Saeki loved.

It was in that moment of weakness that Saeki decided to be honest. “You know… I used to think that way too.”

Atobe rolled his eyes at Saeki’s soft words. “You used to be intelligent then.”

“I believed I could survive on my own.” The brunette widened his eyes, surprised at the affirmation.

“Finally!” He could kiss Saeki now. “Glad you see my point.”

Seeing a small light dance in those eyes, Saeki laughed, he was finally pushing the right buttons. Amusedly, he tilted his head, whispering. "Unfortunately princess, we're still not on the same page.”

Oh. Damn. Atobe cussed inwardly, willing a thousand icicles to impale the other. “Well, too bad for you then.”

Saeki smiled. The brunette was adorable like this. He just didn’t know what Saeki truly felt every time those cobalt blue eyes sparkled. It had been a long time since he last saw Atobe genuinely happy and he missed it. The silver haired man swore on every seashell in Chiba that he would make it happen. Sooner than later.

“I could live on my own but... I don't want to.” Gently he implored the other. That's the difference.

“Your choice. Not Ore-sama’s business.” Atobe replied curtly, cursing those blue eyes to oblivion. He was suddenly reminded of his first impression of Saeki – the warmest eyes of deepest blue and it made him want to sing. But Saeki didn’t need to know. Atobe filed it away for memories’ sake and brushed the maudlin thoughts away.

Saeki was undeterred. With an easy smile and a softer touch, he pushed the stubborn sandy brown hair covering the other’s cerulean eyes. “Your loss.”

“I can't lose what I never had,” Atobe’s tone was bitter as if speaking from experience.

“You'll always have me, you just choose to pretend otherwise.”

Oh how he hated Saeki, the brunette thought, gnashing his teeth hard. “Don't give me this cliché Disney crap.”

“Clichés are clichés because they are universal truths that have seen the test of time.”

He had enough, Atobe raised his voice for the first time. “Just what the hell do you want from me?”

Saeki winced inwardly but his expression gave no hint of hurt. “Let me walk with you, shoulder-to-shoulder.” He placed a firm hand on Atobe’s shoulder. That wasn't exactly what he wanted to say but it would do.

Let me see you, eye-to-eye, till I can’t see you anymore. That’s all I ask.

“Give me a reason to.”

Saeki felt a small flower of hope bloom in him. Atobe was finally relenting, in a way only Saeki would understand. “Let me do what you did for me.” Remember?

There was silence but Saeki’s smile widened. Atobe would never admit he 'saved' him.

“You turned back for me. You literally took my hand and pulled me from...”

“Shut up,” Atobe snapped. If Saeki’s smile got any wider, he was going to scream.

“Afraid of your past?”

“Just shut up.”

“You can run but you can't hide,” Saeki sang gleefully. Not for long anyway.

“Enough.” But Saeki ignored him, continuing in his light-hearted manner.

“We're like coffee and morning trains and don't say you’ve never ridden in a train, that’s beside the point.” Saeki watched smugly as Atobe opened and closed his mouth. For a moment, he wondered how Atobe could be this oblivious to his affections. But I guess that’s part of the attraction, Saeki mused.

“Then what is your point?”

As if it was the most natural thing in the world, Saeki replied. “That we're in this together.”

“There is no ‘we’.”

The ‘no’ came out harsher than he intended and Saeki flinched visibly. Atobe bit back his immediate reaction and willed all his anger to stay. He wouldn't let another person in to see his old scars. It wasn't pretty.

But Saeki was nonplussed. “There can be..." he trailed off, drawing Atobe into his arms. When the brunette did not fight him, a wave of relief swept through him as he tightened his hold. Finally. Finally. Finally.

"If you let me."

Sometimes English just doesn't cut it.

2008-06-06T14:18:24Z

三公分。那是我们之间的距离。

三公分空气，厚厚的围绕着你，让我不能靠进。

三公分阴影，迟迟不离去，要我怎么拥抱你？

只差三公分，指尖划过你的背影。

那三公分，似乎凝固成玻璃。

三公分走不完的距离，如悬崖与谷底，就像我们天与地。

送我一场泪雨，除掉一切的依恋，让天与地融和为一。

近在眼前的你，为何如此难拉近？

好想扑向你，但毫无能力。

三公分阻挡着我，困住我自己。

三公分不完美的美丽，是你的背影。

亲爱的你，回头看一眼再离去。

Ouran

2008-06-06T13:06:43Z

Disclaimer: Studio Bones owns all of Ouran High School Host Club, I'm a mere shadow.
Title: Her glass sneaker
Characters: The whole gang, slight Kyouya x Haruhi
Rating: PG
Summary: Continuation from this. Kyouya compares Haruhi's life to a tragic tale badly portrayed by Disney - Cinderella and along with the crazy gang of rich bastards, they decide to make fairytales become reality with a twist. It is Christmas and dreams do come true.

The next day Haruhi avoids him like plague. Perhaps plague is an understatement, Kyouya laughs inwardly. Her every reaction is all in his calculations.

“Prince Charmings don’t have to be blond,” Kyouya muttered under his breath as he walked past her during hosting hours. Haruhi visibly stiffened but refused to respond.

“Will you fetch me some tea? I’m not having any of this revolting coffee Tamaki insists on,” Haruhi gives him a death glare but complies anyway.

“Sit.” The brunette knew better than to ignore the Shadow King. Who knows how much additional debt he would chalk up on her? He points to the wretched book.

“I’m surprised you’re fluent in French,” Kyouya sipped his tea, eyes fixated on her.

“The twins made me take it as an elective.” He gave an imperceptible nod.

“And besides Tamaki-senpai had the translations ready for me anyway.”

“So I take it that you know about the discrepancy?” Haruhi arches her eyebrow.

Bingo! Strike two for the Shadow King.

‘Tamaki must have left it out in the translations,’ and for a moment there, he thanked the gods for his ditzy best friend.

‘It’s that annoying smirk again. He must be planning something evil,’ Haruhi glares but Kyouya is unperturbed. He gently places the teacup on the saucer.

“It’s not a glass slipper that Cinderella left behind at the stroke of midnight.”

“Yes it is,” Haruhi was sure she knew that silly fairy tale like the back of her hand.

“French interpreters since the 17th century have been troubled by the impracticalities of the glass slipper and have come to a conclusion that translators had confused the words pantoufle de vair (fur slipper) to pantoufle de verre (glass slipper).”

Haruhi had been silenced once again by the Shadow King. Strike three.

“Well fur slipper or glass slipper doesn’t make a difference to me,” she pauses. “If I must, I’ll rather have a pair of glass sneakers or something. And if you would excuse me, I have guests to attend to.” The brunette refused to let him have the last word.

Watching her retreating back, Kyouya randomly wonders if all the money in the world could buy him a glass sneaker. With a flick of his wrist, he turned on his laptop with a mirthless look. Perhaps, Google will have the answer.

XXX

It was Christmas Eve. A week had passed since the embarrassing conversation but Haruhi was still avoiding the Shadow King. The after effects of the trauma were evident as she mumbled incoherently, clearing the glasses from her table.

“What was I thinking? Glass sneakers… Glass of all things!” Haruhi shuddered, remembering the instant she extracted herself from the claws of the Shadow King. She couldn’t believe how easily that demonic man had made a fool of her. Again!

After many wasted hours of analysis, the scholarship student had come to a conclusion. Hanging around these rich bastards extensively has lowered her intelligence by at least eight million brain cells. Plus Kyouya-senpai had managed to hijack her dormant hormones and Haruhi didn’t like losing control.

‘Especially not to a four-eyed moneygrubber demon like Kyouya-senpai.’

‘Mother in heaven, please watch over your daughter as she battles rich bast…’ Before she could finish, her world swayed, sparkling with annoying pink flowers.

“Haru-chan! Haru-chan…” Haruhi knew not to question the perpetual existence of sparkly swirly flowers round the blonde. Since her inauguration, she had learnt many things about the insanity of humans, especially rich good looking male ones.

‘Mori-senpai must be sleeping on the task,’ Haruhi thought as she gently disentangled the boy from her neck. ‘Hani-senpai had to be overdosed on sugar.’

“Do you believe in fairy tales?” Without a doubt, the brunette shook her head.

And the blonde’s expression plummeted like he had been told that girls were not made of sugar and spice and all things nice. Haruhi felt a tinge of guilt.

Squatting down to his level, she tried to reason it out. “It’s not like I don’t want to believe them, Hani-senpai. It’s just that…” Haruhi made the mistake of looking at the blonde. Eyes were larger than life, glassy with tears, imploring to be told otherwise.

Sighing, Haruhi conceded defeat. “Okay. Let me rephrase that. I do believe…”

But the resident cross dresser never got a chance to complete her sentence when Hani-senpai cheered. “Yay! Hika-chan! Kao-chan! Haru-chan says she believes!”

Before Haruhi could explain herself, she felt a pair of gangly arms lift her from her shoulders and drag her away towards the Host Club’s gargantuan closet.

“We’re glad that …” Hikaru was on her left.

Kaoru was on her left “… you believe in fairy tales.”

“Haruhi!” Haruhi was sure the twins literally purred her name. Sighing, she watched the Host King push the walk-in closet open with exaggerated pomp and fanfare.

“We won’t like you to…

“… think we’re forcing…

“… you to do things…”

“… that you don’t like…”

“… without your consent!” The twins boomed happily at the expense of her eardrums and Haruhi winced. The crazy fan girls were screeching at the hosts’ public display of affection, exalting the exquisite beauty of love between boys. Haruhi rolled her eyes.

“Remind me again, which part of consent did you offer me?” And as expected, the twins brushed away her insignificant annoyance and continued unperturbed.

The brunette had a bad feeling about this. It wasn’t as if she could fight the twin’s combined efforts at kidnapping her. If she had a yen every time they did something outrageous to her, Haruhi was certain her debt would be long cleared.

“So we figured if we knew where…”

“… your allegiance laid, we’ll be…

“… able to carry out the plan!” But Haruhi wasn’t even listening.

Maybe she should call for Mori-senpai to save her. But Haruhi’s hopes were crushed when the wild type breezed through the door carrying his cousin on his shoulders and a bunch of suspiciously frilly things, which he handed over to the twins. All that was missing was the Shadow King and Haruhi definitely didn’t want to know where he was hiding or what he was planning. She had enough trouble on her plate now.

Dumping her unceremoniously on a particularly large armchair, she was surrounded. Silence and matching grins overwhelmed her and Haruhi twitched, annoyed.

To her surprise, it was the stoic senior who broke the silence. “Cinderella and her Prince Charming lived happily ever after.”

“And so?” What happened next, Haruhi never saw coming.

“You said you weren’t living in happily ever after.” The Shadow King closed the door behind him. Apparently, he had sent all their customers off. And he was smirking.

“Does it matter?” Haruhi wanted to wipe the smirk off his face. Or even better, break his glasses or trash his pineApple notebook. “I’m not even Cinderella to begin with.”

“But Haru-chan, you said you believed!”

The hosts parted like the Red Sea and allowed the Shadow King through.

“I believe Haruhi is mistaken.” Six matching grins filled her senses and she felt faint.

Kyouya senpai removed a scrap of paper from his notebook and began to read aloud. And suddenly it all came rushing to her. The series of events made sense now.

The ridiculous story telling event yesterday. The French translations. The checklist. Kyouya-senpai’s weird behaviour. Their bizarre conversation and interactions. The odd looks and snickers she had been getting from the twins. Hani-senpai’s sudden question. The dreaded closet and her current predicament. Everything was planned.

Haruhi was certain Kyouya-senpai was the mastermind behind the hullabaloo. The idiot Lord and the two sidekicks, his perfect partners in crime. They had made use of her lack of defence against Hani-senpai to manipulate her. Again!

“Cinderella was a commoner. Check. Cinderella was motherless. Check. Cinderella had a dysfunctional family. Check.” Kyouya-senpai paused and signalled.

With a mock salute, Mori-senpai and Hani-senpai grabbed three large boxes that seemed to have appeared at will and vanished, dragging a kicking blonde with them.

And as though nothing happened, Kyouya-senpai continued. “Cinderella had a fairy godmother that made dreams come true. Hmmmm…” He gave her a look and snapped his fingers. The twins came to attention at once and dumped the suspicious frilly thing at her, before shoving the cross dresser behind the changing curtains.

‘A frilly dress. Great. Another bloody dress. Exactly what I want for Christmas.’ Haruhi wanted to scream but the twins invaded her train of thought again.

“Kyouya-senpai analysed your checklist and noted some discrepancies.”

Kaoru, that prick!

“And we thought who better than us to make things right for our favourite toy!”

Damn Hikaru.

Begrudgingly, Haruhi put on the vile creation and stepped out, eyes blazing. But to her surprise, the room was blissfully quiet. Only the man she wanted to choke stood before her with a wry smile. She didn’t even notice that he was in a white tux.

“After all, it’s Christmas Eve. The Ootori Corporation would like to share their love.”

Where is the love in this?

“Fairy godmother, check.” He paused and shrugged. “Kind of.”

Haruhi glared, willing her eyes to burn a hole through him. But Kyouya-senpai just chuckled and motioned for her to sit. Leaving his notebook, he walked towards her.

“Now for the all important bit.” Ignoring Haruhi’s venomous look, Kyouya brought out a box and knelt before her. Haruhi stared. She refused to give him the satisfaction.

Kyouya smirked inwardly. His plan was flowing beautifully like clockwork. Haruhi’s eyes followed his every action.

Gently, he removed the lid and Haruhi’s eyes widened. Nestled perfectly in soft blue paper was the most exquisite thing the commoner had ever laid her eyes on.

“Cinderella can’t possible dance the night away with her Prince Charming if she didn’t have the proper shoes on, can she?”

Before she recovered from her initial shock, he had removed her school shoes and replaced them. And with his strong arms around her waist, he gently helped her up. But Haruhi couldn’t take her eyes off her shoes. Kyouya smiled.

“They are sparkling.” Kyouya had to chuckle.

“I believe diamonds are supposed to sparkle.” But Haruhi refused to let it go.

“They don’t hurt.”

“I made sure of that.”

“But they aren’t glass slippers.” Her eyes were dark and undecipherable.

He cocked an amused eyebrow. “I thought we had gone through this last week?”

Haruhi didn’t need reminders of the embarrassing week earlier. She could remember every detail as clear as day. “You wanted glass sneakers right?”

“These aren’t made of glass.”

“I know. I designed them.” Kyouya thought he saw a look of gratitude flash across her face. But he couldn’t be sure. Meekly, she offered him a tentative smile.

Kyouya was just glad she was finally silent. Placing her hand on the hook of his arm, he gestured to the door. “Shall we? The Prince Charmings are waiting.”

誕生日

2008-05-21T11:54:14Z

I know I promised I won't blog until my papers of hell are done but this has to be an exception, I don't bloody care. Because...

today's 真田君 birthday!

お誕生日おめでどう

If this doesn't make me a fan girl, I don't know what is. And of course obligatory squealing about his awesomeness is required. One cannot help but fall in love a toast like him, seriously. I mean I'm being completely serious about this. Like world peace serious. The world is in need of extra loving, even if he's nothing but pixels, lines and colors. He makes me smile and I think that means a lot 8D

Oh and picture snagged from the wonderful todokanai I must go buy Rikkai doujins though I'm hell broke D8 Donations implored. On a side note, please say a prayer for all those we are in disaster relief in Burma, my heart goes to you all. みな　がんばって　くだいさい

I AM NOT OBSESSED WITH THE PRINCE OF TENNIS!!!!!!

2008-05-20T12:35:18Z

My subject says it all. I do watch other animes and shows. I DO have a life beyond the internet and I'm not made of pixels. I happen to have a healthy interest in other things like classical music, green tea, tennis, reading, manicures, cocktails, fashion, international law and MANY OTHER THINGS IN REAL LIFE YA? Ask my friends or something?

And just to prove that I'm not deep in the neck in just one fucking fandom, I went to dig out something I wrote half a year ago. THERE! PROOF 8D Now stop asking me if I'm obsessed. I'm not. I've seen worse. Trust me ne? 8DD

Disclaimer: Studio Bones owns all of Ouran High School Host Club, I'm a mere shadow.
Title: Her glass sneaker
Characters: The whole gang, slight Kyouya x Haruhi
Rating: PG
Summary: Kyouya compares Haruhi's life to a tragic tale badly portrayed by Disney - Cinderella and along with the crazy gang of rich bastards, they decide to make fairytales become reality with a twist 8D

A/N: Don't mind the strange POV format, I wrote this chapter by chapter and when was I high on something, so yeah D;

Kyouya never understood the blonde’s fascination with the world of commoners. Not that he was bothered but Tamaki had the attention span of a two year old. And coming to him every time for approval or whinging was tiring. Today was no different.

Apparently, the Host King had gotten his hands on Charles Perrault's fairy tales (first edition no less) and was currently smitten with turn of events in Cinderella’s life. And of course the fan girls couldn’t deny their shining prince of his latest obsession. With not-so-subtle hints from the twins, a whining blonde and rabid fan girls cajoling, Haruhi became the unfortunate narrator of a tale strikingly different from her life.

Kyouya could hear Tamaki swooning across the room as Haruhi began to read aloud in French. He had no clue how regular hosting could have evolved into a full-blown storytelling session. Not that he was complaining - minimal resources, labour and expenses to serve the same number of customers were good for the club’s financial health. The shadow King was certain he might even be able to work out how to milk this for more club funds from the school and simultaneously increase the flow of customer traffic.

‘For educational purposes,’ Kyouya would argue. And with Tamaki to back him up, he didn’t see any reason for Chairman Suoh to deny this monetary request. Kyouya smiled at the idea – minimal effort for maximum results, it was perfect.

“From rags to riches, Kyouya! How charming!” Tamaki’s voice invaded his thoughts. With the leather bound book clutched closely, he skipped to his best friend. The customers had left for the day. Mori-senpai and Hani-senpai were already long gone.

Kyouya could literally hear the cogs in Tamaki’s head spinning as he packed up. The Shadow King was already calculating the odds that the blonde’s next revelation will have something to do with the brunette cross-dresser.

“Kaa san… don’t you think our daughter is like Cinderella?”

Bingo! As predicted, he was spot-on. But before he could reply, the twins were at it again - harassing the oblivious ‘daughter’ to get the Host King’s attention. For once, Kyouya was glad for the distraction, it gave him room to think.

Haruhi did resemble Cinderella, in her warped commoner ways.

She was in every sense of the word, a reluctant heroine. Without any warning, her very common self was thrown into the glitz and ritz of high society. It definitely wasn’t love at first sight but Kyouya was certain she had learnt to accept her fate and most of all, the host club itself. And almost at once, the five other hosts opened their hearts to her, begging to be recognised as part of her common world.

Kyouya was bemused. He never thought a commoner would be able to permeate their world, what more become a regular fixture of their daily lives. Her natural rookie instincts allowed her to waltz around them like how Cinderella would have done with Prince Charming. But in the Shadow King’s eyes, she was a fleeting butterfly amongst roses, bestowing some of her unique personality and attention as she saw fit.

She came to them with no frills, like the instant coffee Tamaki loved so much. Her purpose was clear and she did what she had to. Her frank personality and sharp eyes tore away the superficial layers of wealth and beauty instantly.

Kyouya liked how she had no airs and was painfully honest. It made him feel like he could trust her. It was unnerving but around her, all the walls he erected seem to melt away and Haruhi seemed to be able to see into the deepest part of his soul.

He told her that he never did things that had no merits for him. But these days, his words came back to haunt him once too often. Kyouya found himself thinking about the plain girl more than he should. The image of her alone was enough to unsettle him. The Shadow King wondered if the Prince Charming felt like that when he discovered the lone glass slipper. A glass slipper, how impractical, Kyouya thought.

Their little cross-dresser didn’t even like female clothes, much less a glass slipper.

At the thought, Kyouya felt a small smile tug at the corner of his lips. Suddenly, he was acutely aware that the Third Music Room was silent. Apparently, the twins had successfully driven Tamaki to the wall and had fled with the blonde hot on their heels.

Kyouya prepared to lock up but stopped in his tracks when he noticed he wasn’t alone. The Host Club’s little Cinderella was sitting at Tamaki’s favourite window ledge with the said book propped before her. She looked like she was deep in thought.

Kyouya was intrigued. Usually, the brunette was the first out of the door, what made today so special? It was as if fate was beckoning as Kyouya felt himself drawn to her.

XXX

When they had ‘convinced’ her to narrate that silly fairy tale, she was less than happy. All she wanted was to get through hosting hours in one piece then get home to her chores and homework. Not sit on a high stool with a glaring spotlight on her and a bunch of over-enthusiastic fan girls drooling at her every word. But with the unpredictable rich bastards, she was once again compromised.

Haruhi never understood why the Host Club settled for a music room. She guessed that explained the mystery of the Third Music Room having no semblance of one being used for musical activities. There were too many doors that appear and vanish at whim, instruments that never show their face in a room for music while equipment that have nothing to do with music call the Third Music Room home.

On her better days, Haruhi’s mind was filled with random questions (like the above) and lists of things to do. But today was different, yet she couldn’t put a finger to why.

Ever since the self-declared ‘lonely’ prince had proclaimed her to be Ouran’s Cinderella, she was sceptical. She could see why they saw a little of Cinderella in her but the title bothered her still. Haruhi went through the ‘CHECK-LIST’ she compiled.

Cinderella was a commoner.

Check.

Cinderella lost her mother when she was little.

Check.

Cinderella had a dysfunctional family and was treated like a slave.

Haruhi paused.

Sure she wasn’t ill treated at home by some deranged stepfamily, though her okama father combined with Tamaki would probably give the evil trio a run for their money.

But Haruhi did have her fair share of ‘misfortune’ - breaking the ridiculous vase was the first of many which explained her current cross-dressing state.

‘So Cinderella was pretty unlucky,’ Haruhi thought. The brunette had to admit she wasn’t very lucky herself. When she met the hosts, they thought of her as an amusement and later as a dog. Throwing and fetching became her normal routine. And considering the fact that the blonde always fancied himself as her father, implied that the Shadow King was her mother. The thought alone was pretty disturbing.

So, check. She did have a dysfunctional family all right.

Cinderella had a fairy godmother that could turn pumpkins into carriages, mice into horses and footmen, rags into gowns, complete with glass slippers and all.

But having a fairy godmother wasn’t the only way to change one’s destiny, or so it seemed for the brunette. Six annoyingly attractive boys were enough to turn her world upside down. Haruhi was grateful for the lack of pumpkins, mice and magic. You see, she didn’t like surprises much, even if they were the pleasant sort. And she definitely didn’t need another dress. The twins seemed to have closets full of them in her size.

Further more in many hosting events, she was always forced into frilly costumes that threaten to reveal her true gender. The hosts seem to enjoy playing the role of her fairy godmother every possible time. And if it were possible to magick her male school uniform into that of a female, Haruhi was certain the boys will try.

As much as she didn’t want to, Haruhi checked that off her list.

Cinderella outshone all the other rich and beautiful girls at the ball and danced the night away with her Prince Charming. They found love in each other’s arms.

Haruhi propped the book she borrowed from Tamaki-senpai before her and pondered.

As the only girl cross-dressing as a boy in a club that lived to please girls, it was undeniable. She stood out like a sore thumb. And truly, in every sense of the word, the six other hosts were Prince Charmings in the eyes of their customers.

Yet for Haruhi, meeting the Prince Charmings was far from love at first sight. She was a simple girl who believed in fate. It was pre-destined that she was to stumble so ungracefully into their presence and become a regular fixture in their opulent lives.

She wasn’t sure if it was anything more than platonic friendship that she shared with the six boys. But Haruhi knew she didn’t regret becoming part of their world. The moments they had with her, she was truly happy. Perhaps with time, she might understand her feelings for these six boys and who knows what fate has planned.

With a whimsical smile, Haruhi checked it off her list as well.

Cinderella lost everything at the strike of midnight. Her dream crashed down to earth and the only thing that proved it ever happened was her lone glass slipper.

Haruhi knew how that felt. Without a doubt, she crossed that off her list. Twice over. Hard.

It was reality check for all of them that fateful day. When Tamaki-senpai almost left for France with Éclair. Haruhi never knew what she had until she almost lost it.

Becoming a host wasn’t exactly what Haruhi envisioned her high school life to be. And just like how Cinderella had never thought she would make it to the ball, much less find the love of her life; neither did Haruhi dream that she would become part of this clique of beautiful people who genuinely adore her and all of her commonality.

To be loved and cared for like a real princess was something she might never get used to, but Haruhi was sure she never wanted to lose this feeling. Warm and tender, with a touch of sarcasm and irony. Even if it was for a moment longer, Haruhi knew from the bottom of her heart that she would do everything in her power to keep them together. For they were the dream she never wanted to wake up from.

“Cinderella and her Prince Charming lived happily ever after,” Kyouya read out loud. And with a flick of his wrist, he ticked it off the checklist.

Haruhi jolted out of her daydream to see the Shadow King beside her, reading from her scrap of paper. With an indignant glare and a flush rising to her cheeks, she snatched it back, wedging it between the pages of the book. She had thought all the hosts had left but of course, Kyouya-senpai was as unpredictable as the wind.

“I thought everyone was gone for the day,” Haruhi scrambled off the ledge and packed the book in her bag. All the while Kyouya watched with much amusement.

“You thought wrong.” It was a rare moment that he caught the girl so flustered.

“Cinderella,” Kyouya added as an after-thought.

Haruhi stopped dead in her tracks.

“I’m no Cinderella.” Haruhi turns to face him and is surprised. Kyouya-senpai is directly in front of her.

‘Since when did he come up behind me?’ On second thoughts, Haruhi didn’t want to know. Instead she stumbles back and hits a wall.

Kyouya is unfazed. He smirks knowingly and takes a tentative step forward.

‘It’s no wonder the twins had so much fun playing with her,’ Kyouya decides that she is indeed worthy of attention.

To him, it is like chess. Haruhi is the white Queen and he is the dark knight. Sooner or later, he’ll take her and the game will be over. And in time, he’ll take care of the white King.

“Besides you saw the list. I haven’t lost everything I hold dear to.” Kyouya was surprised. Her poker face is impressive. Smiling, he takes two long steps forward.

“And I don’t think I’m living in happily ever after either.” Her voice betrays her - she is unnerved. He closes the distance between them with her back against the wall.

‘If Kyouya-senpai’s smile grows any wider, I'm knocking his glasses off.' Haruhi always knew he was a tough nut to crack but this time, his expression was undecipherable.

“Oh really?” Kyouya drawls. His voice seemed to suck up all the air and energy around her. And Haruhi finds it hard to breathe, much less look him in the eye.

The Shadow King had to suppress his urge to grab the oblivious girl and kiss her senseless. But no Ootori would be so irrational. He had to keep his emotions in check.

Tilting her head, Kyouya brings their faces unbearably close. He stares down at the limpid pools of brown and wills himself not to get lost in them. He feels her tremble at his touch and that pleases him immensely. At once, Kyouya hates being an Ootori.

But he is an elite, not some hormone-charged commoner, he reminds himself. The Shadow King was surprised at her lack of rebuff. Instead she stares back defiantly, as if daring him. Kyouya smiles. With all his mental strength, he makes his final move.

“Maybe you’re looking for happily ever after in the wrong place,” his voice barely audible. Haruhi almost thought she might have misheard or something.

The glint of his glasses seems to reassure her. ‘There is no merit in this for him. Kyouya-senpai is just being very peculiar,’ Haruhi convinces herself.

But Kyouya was adamant to get his message through that thick skull of hers. So he places a firm hand on the small of her back, drawing her impossibly close to him.

“Or in this case, the wrong person,” his face was at her ear, his breath tickling the nape of her neck, Haruhi shivered uncontrollably.

“Cinderella.” Kyouya’s husky voice seems to drawl on forever. Haruhi felt as if the clock just struck twelve and everything around her seemed to dissolve and melt away.

But with another smirk, he releases her. Without a word of explanation, Kyouya leaves. The sound of the door slamming echoes through Haruhi’s erratic heart beat.

Checkmate.

XXX

Preview of the Next Chapter
The next day Haruhi avoids him like plague. Perhaps plague is an understatement, Kyouya laughs inwardly. Her every reaction is all in his calculations.

“Prince Charmings don’t have to be blond,” Kyouya muttered under his breath as he walked past her during hosting hours. Haruhi visibly stiffens and throws the Victorian tea cup a rueful glare.

And the truth always hurts

2008-05-16T12:14:46Z

Disclaimer: Konomi owns the Prince of Tennis. Period.
Title: In your face.
Characters: Atobe Keigo, Mukahi Gakuto, Oshitari Yuushi
Rating: PG 13 for implied BL relationships
Summary: Gakuto believes that to love is to need.

A/N: There should be a series of conversations coming up. Different people, pairings, themes and prompts. Random 8D

"You know..." he pauses. "He never really loved me." For a moment, he is sure he saw a flash of guilt in the other's cobalt blue eyes.

"Oh?" There. That classic Ore-sama smirk in full force. "What makes you say that?"

The smaller boy shrugs, a look of defeat. "I just know." His voice small and weak. He hated this. It felt worse than losing that doubles match against the legendary Golden fucking Pair. Damn it.

"Then why would he stay by your side?" Running a hand through his sandy brown hair, he averts his gaze.

Suddenly the white lines on the tennis court seem to blur. He is afraid. Afraid to see the sweetest sadness in those eyes. Afraid to hear the truth. Afraid to want. Oh so afraid.

"Physically he always watches my back but..." he pauses again, struggling with the words he never dared to voice. "... his heart never stays long enough." It came out as a whisper, strangely bitter.

But that wasn't everything he had to say. ...Nor his gaze. It is always on you. You are the center of his world while I stand by the sidelines, hoping and praying for a morsel of his attention to no avail.

"How would you know that? Ahn~"

He couldn't help scoffing at the other's facade. Bullshit. "I am never the first person he runs to in times of need." And you know that, asshole.

"That doesn't mean anything Gakuto." The red head hates the way his name rolls off the other's lips, patronizing, condescending, dirty. It reminds him of the one he loves and hates. They are so similar it hurts.

"No," he enunciates the word harshly, as if to make a point. "You don't understand." His auburn bob seem to droop with the fall of his expression and he pauses, almost whispering. "It means everything."

At that, there was silence so loud that it was as though the earth died and swallowed them whole. White noise. Pregnant pause. Because they both knew what was coming next. It was as clear as the summer's day. His eyes glaze over as his knuckles turn white.

"Yuushi never needed me the way he needed you."

Parallel Lines

2008-05-14T11:18:58Z

Disclaimer: Konomi owns the Prince of Tennis, I am just a poor international student wasting away in fandom.
Title - Parallel lines
Characters - Atobe Keigo & Oshitari Yuushi
Rating - PG13 for Boy Love
Summary - They were like parallel lines, always side by side but never close enough to touch. So near yet so far.

A/N - Companion fic to my previous OshiAto series, read the previous here but it's fine as a stand alone 8D

"Running away is not cowardice Yuu-shi," the brunette repeated for the Nth time. That name rolled off his tongue easily, akin to his own now.

Perhaps they were both tired of arguing, for there came a pregnant pause. Their gaze refused to cross and the words seemed to hang in mid-air, like a final judgment of the heavens. From the corner of his eye, a sudden flash of brightness drew his gaze away. His glasses.

The wire-rim glasses glinted in the dying evening light - silver and gold, like sparks in the darkness. Even without meaning to, the Kansai man continued to taunt him silently, reminding him of the other's invasive presence in his life. But both knew there was nowhere they would rather be, then here at this moment - next to each other, just silently, shoulder to shoulder. Parallel lines.

Removing those glasses, the blue haired man averted his gaze, drawling carelessly, "Running away is as good as escaping reality Kei."

He couldn't help himself, really. He had never seen the other remove his glasses and before he knew it, he found his gaze absorbed on that peaceful expression on the other's face. It was then that the new Chairman of the Atobe Enterprises was convinced that this most familiar stranger looked best when he smirked. Perhaps God has a sense of humor after all, the brunette mused.

They were playing their usual game and he wasn't going to lose, especially not this time. So with lips pressed into a thin line, he folded his arms. "Running away is a form of dealing with reality Yuushi," his voice held an indignant tone, sharp and unyielding.

The other choked out a soft chuckle, almost condescending if you didn't know him but Atobe Keigo knew better. Oshitari Yuushi was amused.

"I never thought of you as one who would choose escapism as the easy way out."

"But what if leaving is the only way to keep you sane?"

"What about those left behind?" Oshitari retorted.

Atobe ignored the blatant bait - it was a slippery slope of no return. "Ore-sama has a good reason to run away."

"And leave your parents to die?"

"There was NOTHING I could do YUUSHI!" Atobe snapped, raising his voice.

No, he didn't want to remember. The wreck, the flames, the stench and the blood. It wasn't his fault. It was an accident.

Seeing the fiery hurt in those cobalt eyes that he loved, Oshitari closed his eyes. He knew it was too painful for the brunette to come to terms with. Yet at the same time he had to be stand firm and be harsh because nobody would dare to do the same thing for Atobe Keigo.

It stayed stagnant for a moment too long and only the gentle breeze of Spring dared weave itself between their parallels to no avail. It was a face off, one that neither would give way. "So what is Ore-sama's justification then?"

At that, Atobe threw Oshitari a rueful look which softened immediately at the other's steely gaze. It was there and then the two parallel lines meet. The brunette felt the angst in him dissipate into a puddle of goo.

"I promised..." his voice was a ghost of a whisper as he trailed off, the sudden nostalgia seized him whole. And still the other refused to cut him slack. Taking Oshitari's indifference like a slap, he inhaled a sharp breath and stood abruptly, making his way to the railing of his balcony.

Two words. That was all he wanted to hear.

Their promise. It made his heart flutter as his smirk threatened to take over his face. He knew exactly what the brunette was talking about.

Oshitari assumed Atobe had forgotten. They are after all 25 now and those words meant a decade of memories, faded and weary around the edges.

Don't you dare die before me Yuushi.

You know I'll be waiting Kei.

How romantic. The Atobe Keigo actually took my whims and fancies seriously, Oshitari Yuushi thought. Gracefully, the 'tensai' stretched to his full height and swiftly wrapped himself round the brunette. His face buried in that lavender scented hair as he took Atobe's hands in his.

"You survived Kei," his fingers slowly traced their age old promise on his smooth pale palm as he nuzzled against his one favorite place.

I don't break promises, Yuushi.

Atobe was silent, letting Oshitari's presence engulf him. "Nothing else matters," the Kansai ben comforts him as the words ring in his ears, as though it was only yesterday.

Our world - parallel as it may be, is not lonely Kei.

Don't give up. Keep walking and we'll meet some day.

Our paths will cross. I'll have it no other way Yuushi.

Insight - Atobe Keigo

2008-05-13T11:57:40Z

Disclaimer: Atobe Keigo belongs to Konomi, I can wish but no I'm just a rabid fangirl.
Title: Insight
Character: Atobe Keigo
Rating: G
Summary: A peek behind the mask of Atobe to find Keigo.

1. Being an Atobe is hard work, the brunette actually practices every slight change in features and speech to perfection, because anything beneath that is sacrilege to his name. And no, he would not stand for that because Atobes are nothing short of the best.

2. He is the epitome of a workaholic. Never not on top of things, be it school, work or social life, there's nothing that escapes his Insight. That is what he would tell you but the real reason is that Atobe Keigo is a control freak. The world has always revolved round him, what if it stops? He doesn't want to know. So he grasps at straws, clawing onto the last shreds of familiarity where he knows his facade is safe.

3. It is no surprise when he breaks an opponent into pieces to show the other's foolishness with his Insight but ask Atobe Keigo to look into a mirror for self-reflection is a surprisingly difficult task. On the surface it looks like mere vanity but there is something deeper about his connection with mirrors. He looks into one not to exalt his beauty but to see his flaws. His mirror is his confidante. Only through the looking glass does he see someone who looks back at him with the same defiance and grace, one who mocks and amplifies his imperfections without mercy.

4. Atobe Keigo has a love-hate relationship with his family name. As much as he appreciates the prestige and benefits that comes along with being an Atobe, he longs just to be Keigo. Yet at the same time, he fears losing that Atobe label.What if without it, he is nothing but a faded second rate drama king? The brunette often muses if Shakespeare got it wrong. A name can mean so much more than just a rose.

5. He has a secret fear of heights. Because though it can be a giddy sight and the feeling is stupendous; standing on top of 200 tennis boys, each fighting and waiting to catch you slip up can be tiring. Being on top of the world is a lonely feeling not many understand.

6. Sometimes he wonders how it feels like to be led or to fall with the knowledge that he will be caught because he has never felt like that before. But one special person tosses his world into a frenzy and he finds himself lost in the other's searing embrace. It was then he abandoned the shell of being Atobe and found Keigo. Just one look was enough. Words were excessive between them.

7. They call him God's grace. He doesn't deny not because he believes in it but because he doesn't want anyone to know he is actively searching for that saving grace. He is selfish, once he finds that precious entity, he will not share.

8. Because nobody ever tried to tell him 'No', consequences were never a consideration for the brunette. He surrenders to impulses, whims and fancies easily, waiting for his destined rival to refuse him. Atobe is sure it is worth the while, after all he has waited all his life.

9. More often than not, he feels like a marionette; rudely tugged up and down at will and contorted into compromising positions where he has no say in. But Atobe is a sneaky patient tactician; he knows that if he waits long enough, something is gotta give. And one day he will break free from those reins of hell and saunter towards his freedom. He knows that he is meant for great things - a future brighter than the sun.

10. As much as he craves the normalcy of commonality, he never wants to be a face in the crowd. Life is too short to be a cheap carbon copy of another. So he stands taller and before the ones dear to him because only then can he keep their innocence from the harshness of reality, even if it is for a moment longer.

10_letters claim: Sanada Genichirou - #1 Accept

2008-05-08T10:39:46Z

Title: Acceptance, Trust and Love
Rating: PG - 13 for BL
Fandom: Prince of Tennis
Character: Sanada Genichirou
Author's Notes: SAP ALERT. Implied relationships. Series with willowy_renji for 10_letters

Renji,

Like how I can't seem to understand Niou, neither can I get inside your head. Sometimes when I think I'm nearly there, you surprise me with something else altogether. Like I find it hard to accept when you say you're becoming like D1. The Trickster and the Gentleman are mere masks for their selfish, calculated persona that is constantly hiding from the light. To me, you're nothing like that. You're a beacon and an anchor, constant and dependable.

Do you know? You sometimes remind me of a fleeting shadow or the haze-shrouded moon, if I blink I'm sure I'll lose sight of you. I don't fear very well, so please don't let me find something to be afraid of.

You, along with many others, seem to enjoy unnerving me. I don't understand the pleasure you derive from throwing me off balance. You must have picked up on the sadistic tendencies that Seiichi is very fond of lapsing into. Nevertheless I will be watching my back now.

Which reminds me: what rumors? I don't pay attention to such things and I don't see anything about me that might be worth the gossip mill. And never apologize to me. We promised to only mean what we say and do our best, there will be no regrets, so why apologize? Trust me.

I'm surprised you never considered the art of calligraphy. There is something about you that makes it seem so natural that I would believe if you told me it was an extension of yourself. Remember when we first met? It was stormy and you just sat there on the ledge with your face to the sky, as if accepting the torrential rain as a rightful punishment. It was in that moment that I found the eye of my storm.

As for your question - tree, hands down. I'm sure you didn't need to ask. Also, is it selfish of me to want you to stay as a face in the crowd?

Genichirou

RPG

2008-04-26T12:55:36Z

I have a major take home test due in less than 5 days, an economics debate in less than 5 days and 2 one page essays due in less than 3 but what am I doing? Oh you mean besides shopping online and offline, KTV-ing, drinking like a fish and feasting on Japanese cuisine?

Oh yes, I've been RP-ing which brings me to my new baby. I'm sure I've talked your ears off about since forever, plus I've cross-posted EVERY FUCKING WHERE and if you haven't seen it or heard of it, lemme pimp it out a bit.

le_atobe A Prince of Tennis Role Play Community - where the boys don't come cheap.

LE ATOBE { hotel|bar } the boys don't come cheap.
BECAUSE ATOBE IS KING.

When Atobe's family threaten to take away his empire unless he resurrects the dead Le Atobe Hotel (ranked a disappointing 35th on the list) located in Tokyo, near the Ginza area, and surrounded by smaller hotels and shopping malls, Atobe decides that the solution is to set up a very expensive Club & Bar in the house - with his ex-tennis comrades paid to do the deeds to attract the cash cows.

So now in the Le Atobe Hotel we find the hottest, trendiest nightspot in town - can you last the night?

Whether you're a host, bartender, waiter, performer, deejay, security or events crew member, the rules are the same. Do whatever you want in the day, but at night, it's time to head to Le Atobe Club & Bar. You're free to hold another job in the day or to work part-time or full-time as you wish. You can either stay at the hostel for Le Atobe employees or have your own apartment. Whatever you do in the day does not affect us and whatever you do, just remember to turn up for work at night.

It's back to work tomorrow, so make your time here worth it. Booze solves EVERYTHING.

10_letters claim: Sanada Genichirou - #4 Peace

2008-04-23T07:51:14Z

Title: Just for the Record
Rating:NC-17
Fandom: Prince of Tennis
Character: Sanada Genichirou
Author's Notes:Slashy content. Implied relationships. Series with willowscry - Yanagi Renji for 10_letters

P.S. You might want to read this first to make this letter less confusing, though it's fine as a standalone.

Renji,

Tarundoru. I'm sure you purposely misread my previous letter. Either that or the response is another prank of Niou's. I am not amused. It's strange how we can't seem to get out of the Trickster's shadow. Thank you for making sure he got me a new cap. It's itchy. He said someone wanted in my pink cap though, I wonder... Anyhow there is no time for such idle talk, I've got urgent matters to explain.

Most importantly, I did not give you a con... ... ... that. I repeat, I most definitely DID NOT leave you such an item. I am, as you said the last person who would give you a cond... ... ... You get my point. I left you vanilla scented candles to help you relax, not a... piece of rubber.

You know me, I do not speak of such private matters on paper nor verbally, nothing leaves the four walls of my... private space.

And just for the record, when I mentioned Seiichi, I meant the period of time he was hospitalized and I had to take over his duties. Not what your rabid imagination seems to imply. Even if Seiichi is around when I'm practicing , all he does is insist I teach him how to hold my brush or guide him in the strokes. Most of the time, he prefers to watch me from behind to get the posture right. It is rather peaceful and almost relaxing in his presence, so my words come out fluid and faster. Seiichi said you might be interested to know that he thinks my Calligraphy is made of strong, hard strokes. Perhaps one day you will like to try? It may not be your kind of fun but it's very like you, composed and zen-like.

When it comes to you and Seiichi, I bear no ill intentions. I just don't like people calling you Renji. It makes me feel like... I'm losing you.

If I'm a book, I'm sure it is about the art of tactics and if that's how you see me, then isn't high time you opened this book?

Genichirou

P.S. You will not jump on me. Now that I am warned, I'll make sure to watch my back. Relaxing is after all unacceptable.

[A/N- I've been told this is gutter worthy, REALLY?]

10_letters claim: Sanada Genichirou - #3 Encourage

2008-04-17T09:25:46Z

Ganked from Mizu love (=
For the first five (5) people who reply to this post, and who re-post this challenge on their own journal I will send you a gift. It might be something I've made, or something I have on hand biding it's time among my stash for the perfect person to be shipped off/given to. It could be anything: a collection of songs, a postcard, handmade jewelry, a book, or something else entirely. Whatever it is, I promise I will get it to you in 365 days of your posted comment or less (ideally less).

No, really. I'm serious. Don't ask. Just because. I hope you don't live very far away >.< But it's okay, I don't mind being Santa Claus. Yes I've gone crazy! So many things to buy, so little time, where can I burn the plastic but online?

Renji,

I'm an open book to you, is this formal letter even necessary?

Though I admit I enjoyed writing this out. Good practice for my penmanship. Haven't worked on calligraphy since Seiichi... never mind.

It is the Trickster's nature but you did not have to encourage him. I do not appreciate my cap dyed pink and no, it does not match our jerseys, even if we brought the red ones back. And no I'm not wearing it, Niou has 5 days to put it right.

Just for the record, I'm not irritable. He called you Renji, that is reason enough for the extra 200 laps.

I didn't mean to... give you laps until the end of time but we set the example no? Nevertheless I do not react well to being commanded.

... Did you get the box I left it in your locker, that would help you relax enough.

Genichirou.

This is a response to willowscry 1st letter of our claim (= read it at 10_letters

Koala & his Tree

2008-04-16T00:04:01Z

No I'm not blaming Mizu but instead of doing my papers, this came instead D= Oh well Renji wanted his Gen-chan so I had to give!

Leaning languidly against those pronounced shoulder blades, Yanagi decided there and then that he liked it best hugging Sanada from behind. That broad back stood for so many things – security, strength, dependence and most of all, promises.

Sanada knew there was no point burning a hole in Yanagi’s dull wallpaper with his glare but there was no stopping the Emperor in his annoyance. No he wasn’t complaining about the hug or Yanagi on his back. Contrary to popular belief, Sanada enjoyed human contact, not that he would ever admit it.

He wasn’t upset by the ambush but more by the fact he couldn’t touch that familiar face or see those gentle eyes light up. It wasn’t fair but Sanada knew he wouldn’t give up the current situation for anything in the world.

“I’ve got nowhere to put my hands Renji,” he groused as he tried to untangle lanky limbs from around his middle. Yanagi could be as sticky as Marui’s annoying gum.

Yanagi pretended not to understand. Instead he buried his face against that ebony hair.

We are like two parallel lines, so close and always opposite each other and yet we would never meet, he mused quietly. But the Data Master was far from bitter. Instead he was content that a part of that stone heart melted for him. He was sure alone; he couldn’t satisfy Sanada and was glad the other half was his best friend and captain.

To be honest, he couldn’t remember when the image stuck but in his mind, his stoic vice captain always reminded him of an impressive rain tree. Tall, broad, deeply rooted, well built with long thick branches surrounded by dark green leaves. And as if to burn the image in his head, Yanagi wrapped his arms tighter round Sanada.

Sighing, Sanada succumbed. A quick mental debate and he finally let his hands rest on Yanagi’s. At once, he received positive reaction in the form of a long low purr from behind him. Sanada positively shivered. It was unacceptable, the way Yanagi was affecting him but he put no effort in stopping the Master.

“What, are you a cat?” Sanada grumbled off handedly as Yanagi squeezed the air out of his lungs.

But it was nice like this, refreshing even, to be the centre of someone’s world and to hold all of his attention. It was dangerous, Sanada decided, he knew he could get used to it. In his book, any addiction beyond tennis was unhealthy.

And just for the heck of it, because he knew it would confuse Sanada some, Yanagi purred.

“I rather be a koala...” Yanagi paused, and added as an after thought, "And you can be the tree."

Shadows

2008-04-15T13:29:45Z

Because willowscry reminded me why I love ORenji so much (=

He did not ask for it. Yanagi did not offer. It was mutual understanding on their parts. A hug was the most natural thing on earth between them.

They were a dance of light and shadow. Which was light and which was dark, nobody knew. Because Sanada was never without Yanagi and Yanagi was never not by his side. Shoulder to shoulder, they stood tall - a formidable sight.

He was disappointed with himself. Really, Sanada should have seen this coming from a mile away. In the deep recesses of his subconscious memory, he always knew the brunette and him shared a deeper connection beyond Emperor and Master.

But all thoughts flew out of the window in that one touch. Gentle, unassuming and warmer than a summer’s day. His cap had been knocked off and his uniform crumpled but Sanada wouldn’t set it straight. He couldn’t, lost in that proximity.

In the haze of heat and heart racing thumps, a faint tangy citrus scent invaded his senses. It was then he knew that oranges would always bring him back to Yanagi.

But for a moment, the Emperor was perplexed.

Where does one put your hands when someone tackle hugs you from behind?

Sanada was proudly Rikkai, losing even in a game of hugs was dishonorable and unacceptable. Practise was due.

RANT

2008-04-09T07:25:43Z

I feel like a total waste of space this week. I meant to go to all my classes and do all my work but since the weekend came last week, I just lost all control of my time and life. Friday was slept in when i intended to do something about my room and online life. Saturday was jacked because of the barbeque, I really intended to stay for an hour or so but things happened again. So I came home with a tan and a headache, only to be attacked by my Resident Tutor who told me that my clique of Asian girls are making too much hell of a noise in dorms. 'CUSE ME we're girls!

Moving on, Sunday... I don't even remember what I did on Sunday. That is how bad the situation is. I woke up in time to get to class but went online and of course got sucked into the vortex. That wasn't so bad cos' it was my Pop Culture class which was basically pointless. Since I didn't go for lecture on Monday, I saw no need to go to tutorial on Tuesday. Yes my warped logic strikes once again.

So I tried to be productive on Tuesday but Environmental Politics eluded me. The words just refused to mesh and I fell asleep. AGAIN. Face first with highlighter by my side and a screeching laptop. D= Since I didn't complete my readings, I couldn't possibly go to class or hand up my tutorial journal, so guess what? I skipped tutorial. I told myself, fine, skip tutorial but go for the clash Law lecture and guess what? The weather took over. Too damn hot to climb up to upper campus D= and why do that when you have the lecture on podcast? But there is hope. I went for law tutorial bcos I adore law class. But guess what? It completely spaced on me that I was supposed to lead tutorial discussion on multilateral arms treaties but thank god, my tutor took pity on my sickly complexion and hoarse voice and let me off. Have to write a paper 2make it up D=

I AM SO FULL OF EXCUSES THIS IS STARTING TO SCARE ME. SERIOUSLY. CHRISTINE NO MORE PROCRASTINATION! *sighs*

I need to get my life back on track or I'm whipping myself into shape by force. So if I snap at anyone, just snap back at me. I deserve it. Honestly, I refuse to waste my parents' money here. My dad called and guilt tripped me into aiming for honors, DUH but UGH I'm not sure what i'm doing.

Just cause Enviro lecture is made of Fail

2008-04-03T04:24:23Z

Tagged by kageillusionz

Tagging llamachan teshumai riiche stelf magicaldebs _sabriel gthiru mildlymediocre neitaro zhe01 g3ssh0ku

A. People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs and replace any question they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves. Tag 8 people. Those who are tagged cannot refuse.

B. These 8 people must state who they were tagged by. You cannot tag the person who tagged you. Continue this game by sending this to 8 other people. People who are tagged will be blessed and their wishes will come true in the future.

1. If your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be?
Depends on how much I love him. I might forgive but I won't forget. But that doesn't mean I will stay by his side.

2. What will you do if you do not share the same feelings as the person who likes you?
Lead him on, have some fun. JUST KIDDING! I'm not a bitch, really.

3. If you could hang out with someone famous for a day, who would it be??
Tough question. Should I give a bimbo answer or a serious answer? Kazuki Kato/Shirota Yuu/Kanesaki Kentarou or Jesus Christ

4. Are you confused as to what lies ahead of you?
Very. The future is a clean slate.

5. What's your ideal lover like?
Someone intelligent, manly, ambitious, patient and loves me for all that I am.

6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone else?
I used to think being loved is definitely more blessed but now I question it, really. Not that loving someone who doesn't love you is any easier.

7. If the person you like does not accept you, would you continue to wait for them to change their feelings?
No. Why can't we be friends?

8. If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?
Depends on the situation really though I really won't wanna be the third wheel.

9. Is there anything that has made you unhappy recently?
It's always about me.

10. What do you want most in life?
The ability to make my family and friends happy.

11.Do you think mankind is inherently evil?
Hell yeah.

12.Put your iPod/media player/whatever on shuffle. List the first five songs that come up.
找自己 by 周杰倫
旋律 by 林宇中
Figures A & B means you & me by HelloGoodbye
Can't Stop by Maroon 5
Embers & Envelope by Mae

13.Who is currently the most important person to you?
My family = one important person to me.

14. Who did you dream of last night?
I knew I dreamt of something and someone but I'm not sure who now because I'm awesome like this. I won't be surprised if it's Sanada/Atobe.

15.Would you rather be single and rich or married and poor?
Single and rich! Practical bitch I am.

16.If the person you secretly like cannot recognize you, what would you do/how would you react?
Keep appearing in his face till he recognizes me. Persistent yes.

17.Would you give your all in a relationship?
Depends. Now? Not really. I just wanna play.

18.If you fall in love with two persons simultaneously, who would you pick?
The one that loves me less, that would make me strive to get even better for more of that love. If not I'll pick the one who is more successful.

19.What type of friends do you like?
I don't choose friends, they choose me. I'm not picky as long as you don't insult me for nothing or push all the wrong buttons.

20.If you played a prank on someone, and he/she fell for the trick, what would you do?
Laugh with him/her.

A. List 7 facts/quirks/habits of yours.
B. Tag eight people to do the same. Do not tag the person who tagged you or say that you tag "whoever wants to do it"

1. When I serve in tennis, I have to have the ball facing right up, where the label is or I can't serve right.
2. I eat peaches only after they have been skinned and sliced. Same goes for watermelon, oranges, honeydew, rock melon & lots more.
3. I had my first egg tart last night.
4. I can count with my finger & toes the number of times I've gone clubbing, decently that is.
5. I have baby hair that curls.
6. Sometimes I feel I'm not meant to study.
7. I can't write decently to save my life.